Eagle Eyes

Should be the name of the resident who noticed that the lift certificate in my block is expired. That's right, EXPIRED. For the last month and a half, we've been travelling in lifts which may not be safe for human consumption.

Someone from the Aljunied Town Council must be having his head removed from his arse right now if this has happened.

So, thank you, Eagle Eyes, for circling the expiry date on the certificate.

You must have been really bored.

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No matter how posh your condominium may be, no matter how poncy its name, the great leveller of all things building-related in Singapore are the guys who come round every once in a while to conduct fogging.

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All right, cabbie of SH 9946 U, you didn't have to lose your temper just because I wasn't willing to pay the additional $2-3 for you to take the route you really wanted.

OK, maybe I'm a bit too sensitive; you didn't lose your temper - you're just a really bad driver.

In all of the twenty-minute journey, you used the turn signals a grand total of [drum roll] two times. And I don't think I've ever hit 90 km/h before while not on the expressway, nor maintain an average speed of 75 km/h. I think your cab needs to be serviced too; what, with all the problems you seem to be having with your brakes and your engine (your engine brake seems to come on too often for comfort). And the weaving? We could have had a Persian rug by the time I got to my destination, so furiously weaving you were.

I also felt embarrassed for you and yours for that really delayed reaction to that minivan cutting across your path, causing you to have to jam on your unreliable brakes. I mean, horning long after the minivan had left your line of sight? You must have been red-faced.