Nota bene
Just figured it'd make it easier for people to scroll through all 14 parts of Meulaboh (and counting - it's ending soon, don't worry): I've added links to previous and next posts to each of the entries so far.
GRRRRR. Arrrgh. And sometimes a travel log.
Just figured it'd make it easier for people to scroll through all 14 parts of Meulaboh (and counting - it's ending soon, don't worry): I've added links to previous and next posts to each of the entries so far.
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I make the decision not to shoot too many photos today and to help my teammates on the last day of our efforts in the school. The Indonesian volunteers have come back as well and the work is moving at a pretty quick pace. By lunch, though, I have become my worst nightmare: I am burning books in the courtyard. I'm bound for a special place in Hell reserved for Qin Shi Huang Di, Nazis and fundamentalist, ultra-right Christians. Kim quotes Heinrich Heine (1797-1856), "Wherever they burn books, they will also, in the end, burn people." Not exactly. But close enough. It's ironic, but fitting as well, I guess, for an ex-teacher. Books which are deemed irrecoverable are tossed into the flames. It's with some sadness I watch the pages curl and turn black, then to ash, from the flames.
Meulaboh, Day 3 #8
Originally uploaded by Terz.
We must have made an impression on the people in the neighbourhood. A boy cycles up to the school and shyly hands over a packet of USAid Daily Rations to us. It's a small thing, but it brightens our day: we know we're doing something right.
Meulaboh, Day 3 #9
Originally uploaded by Terz.
No one wants to eat the lentil stew and bean salad though.
(To be continued)
Having used up the 10MB that Flickr has given me for this month, the next installment will be posted only on 1 March 2005.
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Our shadows follow us back to the Sekolah Muhammdiyah where we learn that they are actually enrolled in the school. Pak Ali spends a quiet moment asking after their families. Sham gives the bravest of the group several bottles of mineral water to bring home. Photos are taken, and, for the first time all afternoon, the boys put on a show of gravity. They are then told to expect to come back to school the following week.
By the time we're ready to go in the afternoon (and as it turns out, the other groups did not make an appearance), we have cleared two pathways (christened 'Mercy Road' and 'Relief Avenue', respectively, for the students' use, and reinforced the sides with wooden planks to prevent the mud from sliding back onto the path should there be rain (unlikely, since it is the middle of the dry season. The temperature today was 41°C).
Meulaboh, Day 3 #5
Originally uploaded by Terz.
Meulaboh, Day 3 #6
Originally uploaded by Terz.
At the end of it, this is the most fulfilling day of our time in Meulaboh. And tiring as well. As I write in my journal at 2000 hours back on the Endeavour, Tahar, Imran and Samuel are already fast asleep on their bunks.
(To be continued)
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Meulaboh, Day 3 #2
Originally uploaded by Terz.
We muck about for a bit, clearing up more of the courtyard and the mud in the front of the school, then restore the signboard of the school to its proud, rightful place. The second one, though, the one smashed in by the boat, is unrecoverable. Pak Ali tells us that the signboard would cost the school about the equivalent of SGD200 to replace.
Meulaboh, Day 3 #3
Originally uploaded by Terz.
We take note of that.
(To be continued)
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Day 2 Charlie
I'm back on the Endeavour and waiting for the camera batteries to be recharged (and to complete downloading the images to the laptop). While the others have their dinner, I'm sitting in the corner nearest the power points for all the electronic equipment I have that needs recharging and thinking about the day that has just gone by. It's the end of Day 2 and I've shot almost 950 images.
I haven't been eating dinners at all since we've been in Meulaboh. The strange thing is, I don't feel the need. I'm focused on downloading all the images, formatting both CF cards and recharging my batteries for the next day's shooting. I can't sleep either. My sleep has been restless since we arrived. I sleep no more than two hours per night, but every morning, I feel energetic enough to face another day on shore. It's a strange thing.
Somehow, I'm feeling more helpless now than I did while back in Singapore and wondering if there was something more I could do to help. I've documented, I've done carpentry, I've moved mud and dirt, I've made some sort of contact with the people in the neighbourhood. I've tried my best to be an ambassador. Yet, somehow, it feels that I've not done enough.
I was talking to Eddie earlier. He's right: words just aren't enough. There's nothing we can say to let people at home know what we've seen and experienced. At that moment, I remember wanting to go home as quickly as I can and holding my wife for as long as I can and just spending time with my family, friends and loved ones.
Samuel comes by in the middle another of the pointless debriefs he has to attend as team leader on the pretext of plugging in his mobile phone to be recharged. Apparently, we are to take on one of the other groups for tomorrow. The other two groups have finished what they're supposed to do and some have asked to come to the school, our school, to help with the clean-up.
No. Fuckin'. Way.
(To be continued)
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Meulaboh, Day 2 #6
Originally uploaded by Terz.
We are tired, drained by the heat and our back-breaking work - and we seem to be getting more injuries. I had torn the skin off my left arm earlier today from a fucking stupid lapse. As I rested in the classroom, Kim suffered his first injury - a gash on his arm. His second, a near-miss, was a nail that had penetrated his boot, but did not get through his socks. Samuel had earlier stepped on a pair of nails he knew was right in front of him. We're losing our concentration and falling prey to fatigue - physical, mental and emotional. The heat beats down upon us all unrelentingly and I'm amazed to realise later that, despite drinking more than three 1.5l of bottled water, I have not once perspired.
Meulaboh, Day 2 #8
Originally uploaded by Terz.
Meulaboh, Day 2 #9
Originally uploaded by Terz.
Later, we recover a teacher's desk with still-damp textbooks and students' records with photographs in one of the drawers. There are exam or test results, written in the teacher's flowing handwriting, and comments in Bahasa Indonesia, which I do not understand. Each record is painfully neat and obviously written with much care. Among the items recovered is also a photo album of her students. In some photos, we see the school in better days. We are glad for it, because it gives us something to aim towards.
Meulaboh, Day 2 #7
Originally uploaded by Terz.
While this is happening, the work in the orphanage next door goes into high gear and more bodies are recovered. Seven in all, by the time we load up the SAF vehicle, done for the day. We are no longer sickened by the thought and the sight of rotten corpses don't hold the same fascination they did the first day. I do not take any more photographs of corpses.
We have learnt to ignore some things. But not the smell. As we pull away from the school, I violate SAF standing regulations on travelling in military vehicles and light up another cigarette.
(To be continued)
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We return to the school. The pile of textbooks, so daunting on the first day, is almost dry, and we start moving them to the administrative block to prevent further damage to them. For the rest of the day, we engage in more carpentry than we'd done since woodwork classes in secondary school.
Meulaboh, Day 2 #2
Originally uploaded by Terz.
Meulaboh, Day 2 #3
Originally uploaded by Terz.
I remember Day 2 as the day of aftershocks. I first thought that it was my sea legs acting up on me. But when another aftershock hit and both Ridzuan and I, leaning against a door jamb, feel it at the same time, I had to re-evaluate. By the end of the day, the ground beneath my feet would have shifted six more times. A check with Pak Ali reveals that the locals are so used to the ground moving about under them that they're no longer surprised. Throughout the day, I fret about the drill in case another one of these aftershocks sends another series of waves our way. I send YM some SMSes which I think may have freaked her out.
It was also a day of false alarms. Two. We had been told earlier in the day that 30 bodies had been recovered and removed from the school, and that they're still not sure if every one of them has been found. So we are justifiably anxious when, digging into the mud with a changkul, Naz uncovers something which emits the smell of something we never could get used to. We stop work while a teacher rushes to inform the TNI personnel at work in the neighbourhood. Happy for the rest, on the first of the 40°C+ days we would experience, we were nevertheless completely unwilling to take a closer look at what looks like flesh underneath a layer of mud. We leave that area to the authorities. (It's only the next day that we find out that it wasn't a body after all.)
The second false alarm occurs just ten minutes later. Again, while digging into the mud, a changkul reveals something more grisly: what appears to be the armless, upper torso and head of a body. I take some pictures while the guys take another break. Twice in one day is more than we can take. While I'm taking photos, Pak Ali comes by, takes a look at the body, and... kicks it over. I nearly fall over backwards. The others are also mortified. My feeling of ill-ease does not subside even when it's revealed that what looks like the yellowed sinews of a human corpse is actually a half-rotted bunch of bananas.
Meulaboh, Day 2 #4
Originally uploaded by Terz.
I'm shocked at the casual disregard for something that could have been a body. And the nonchalant way it was done. Was it callousness on the part of Pak Ali? Or just a numbness we'll never understand? Over one-quarter of the population of Meulaboh gone, just like that, and the 30 bodies recovered from the courtyard of his school. Does this explain the seeming lack of community spirit we saw on the first day? Are neighbours whose lives have returned to normal (as normal as it can be) sitting around idle because they don't care? Or is it because too many have died, and they don't know where to begin? Are they still in a state of shock? I consider it all and I decide theirs is not for me to judge: they have seen far too much death in their lifetimes, more than I'll ever understand.
I am unable to continue. I take a break in the rest area with trembling hands, half-fumbling the cigarettes I try to light. I am smoking a pack of Marlboro reds every day - just to keep the smell out. And my nerves calm. It turns out I'm not the only one who's thinking this way.
It's becoming obvious that we are beginning to be affected by what's going on around us.
(To be continued)
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Meulaboh, End Day 1 #2
Originally uploaded by Terz.
Back at the shore, we find out that the other teams of NGOs have not returned. Eddie had suggested earlier that the Muslims in the team take a walk to the only remaining mosque on the shoreline to offer a quick prayer for the souls of the dead. For want of something to do, and irritated that we had been called away from the school before we could really get going, we agree and get permission from the SAF personnel ADC to the Task Force Commander.
During the walk, I am struck by the human detritus all around me: the shoe of a child's doll wedged in among concrete blocks; cooking utensils; a broken crockery; torn footwear; a woman's clothes from the shell of a building, bedraggled and scattered by the wind; more handbags; knitted purses; more water-damaged photo albums than I care to count; and prized family possessions of various forms and value.
Meulaboh, End Day 1 #3
Originally uploaded by Terz.
And all around us, the smell of death.
At one point, Eddie can't go on. I offer to go back to the waiting area with him, but he doesn't take it up. He wants to get to the mosque.
Meulaboh, End Day 1 #4
Originally uploaded by Terz.
Meulaboh, End Day 1 #5
Originally uploaded by Terz.
We arrive at the mosque and I witness a beautiful moment of the Muslims at prayer in this fragile shell of a building. We learn later that many of the victims, believing it to be the end of the world, rushed pell-mell to the mosque to pray instead of placing more distance between them and the tsunamis. Though the mosque was built on strong foundations, the walls offered inadequate protection against the fury of the sea; the waves caught up with them there and swept them away. I marvel at the suddenly flawed beauty of the mosque. It must have been beautiful once. Now it stands in the midst of all the destruction, a stark reminder of the tragedy. We spend the rest of the time in the mosque in silence, but everyone knows what the others are thinking: it may be only one school out of 153, it may be only one building out of thousands, but we will rebuild.
Meulaboh, End Day 1 #6
Originally uploaded by Terz.
It is another three hours before we're back on the Endeavour. But in that brief, wonderful moment, we became a team.
(To be continued)
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There is a commotion from the boys' orphanage next door coming from some of the Muhammadiyah workers. One of them, Rizal, approaches us to ask if we could help them remove the bodies from the mud. They have not been vaccinated. We have. Sham and I are uncertain whether or not we're allowed to even touch any recovered bodies, let alone move them, so we defer to the SAF personnel with us. Amran, who has, since our walk, removed his SBO (skeletal battle order) and has been helping out with the cleaning up at the Sekolah Muhammadiyah, tells us that if they had the proper equipment (I am to learn later that that means masks, gloves, body bags and a disinfectant spray) with them for dealing with bodies, they would have helped. Unfortunately, they aren't carrying anything of that sort in our vehicle, so we can't help in any way.
We decide to take a look anyway. I grab my cameras from the rest area in the classroom and follow Rizal to the orphanage.
Again, the smell hits us before we see the corpse. Corpses. The first had already been removed from the mud. It is a partial body*, placed under an orange body bag. The wind had blown back a corner of the body bag to reveal the grisly remains underneath. Or it could have been arranged that way for us. Only the lower left leg of the person has been recovered. From the dimensions, we know it is a child's leg. I snap off a few shots and turn away.
Rizal then tells us they have found another one.
He leads the way up piles of rubble to where the second body* lies. It's an adult this time. And almost complete. He lies on his side. His body is protected from the sun by layers of mud and is thus, mostly untouched by decomposition, though on several areas of his exposed torso, the flesh is turning dark blue. A gold ring glitters from his left hand. As does a watch from the wrist. I try not to find out if the watch still works. The smell is stronger. Much stronger. But I document the body, if necessary, for the authorities.
Meulaboh Town #7
Originally uploaded by Terz.
We stand in silence for a while and, one by one, walk away. There is nothing we can do. Fortunately we are offered a distraction to take our minds off the bodies. Rizal, clad only in black rubber boots, has stepped on a rusty nail which has penetrated the sole of the boots. We try calling Tahar on the cell phone, but the mobile connection chooses not to work at that moment. Fortunately, Tahar is already on his way over from the school. We wave frantically at him and help Rizal to the porch area at the school.
There, Tahar tends to the wound and dispenses advice, in case it becomes septic.
The first small bright moment of the day.
(To be continued)
* The photographs found at these links may be disturbing to some. Viewer discretion is advised.
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I note that entire blocks are flattened. Here, there is no one who'll rebuild. I learn from Amran that two whole villages were wiped out by the tsunamis. I also find out that when the SAF arrived in Meulaboh, they were retrieving bodies from the streets and off of trees.
Meulaboh Walkabout #2
Originally uploaded by Terz.
A man sees Amran's uniform and approaches us. He tells Amran that there is a body near his house. Or so he thinks. He cannot be sure because no one can spot it. But the smell of death is unmistakable. He asks if we could help him - he fears disease and infection; he fears for his family. He takes us to the spot. In the mess of fallen coconut trees and the wooden debris of smashed huts, the stench of rotting decomposition fills our senses. But we do not spot the body.
Meulaboh Walkabout #3
Originally uploaded by Terz.
Meulaboh Walkabout #4
Originally uploaded by Terz.
After a while, we retreat from the spot. He tells us that most of the families in this particular block survived, though not the ethnic Chinese family at the end of the street. That entire family was lost, he says matter-of-factly. He tells us that rebuilding is difficult because the infrastructure is no longer there. They have no water, nor electricity nor a functioning sewage system. They lack the materials to properly rebuild. And the streets here, I see, are choked with the same mud from the school.
Amran promises to notify the relevant authorities about his concerns and about the body and we leave to him to his current preoccupation.
We meet a few children, happy now that there are no classes at the moment. I do not think they would have happily posed for me if they'd known I had come with a group to get their school ready for lessons the next week. For now, they smile. And I marvel at their resilience. They survived. They are innocents who may not yet fully understand that their world has changed irrevocably.
My walk takes about two hours. I am sunburnt by the time I return to the school. I feel no better than I did when I started my walk. As I rest, there is a commotion from some of the other volunteers from the local chapter of the Muhammadiyah charity organisation.
We were about to see our first body.
(To be continued)
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Meulaboh, Sekolah Muhammadiyah #2
Originally uploaded by Terz.
We pause for a moment when we see what's inside the school: there are four buildings, each forming one side of the quadrangle in which there once was a volleyball court/ assembly area. The entrance is through the administrative block, with the principal's office and teachers' staff rooms. To our right are the science laboratories. Directly ahead of us is a two-storey building containing 7 classrooms. To our left, the library block and the classroom for religious lessons. That building bore the brunt of the tsunamis, the pillars facing the main road outside were bent at an angle - like someone had taken a sledgehammer to them, smashing them in at about 4 feet off the ground - forcing the roof to tilt dangerously in that direction.
Meulaboh, Sekolah Muhammadiyah #3
Originally uploaded by Terz.
The principal, Pak Ali, tells us what is needed to be done: the tables and chairs need to be returned to the classrooms, cleaned and free of mud for the first time in three weeks; the mud in the quadrangle (I learn later that the same mud held 30 bodies - I resist trying to find out if these bodies had been affiliated in any way to the school) needed to be cleared; and the books that now line the entire right side of the quadrangle needed to be dried, cleaned and checked for usability.
We were told that we could leave our belongings on the second storey classrooms and get to work immediately. I let my team go up first; after all, my role was not to get dirty. I take more pictures of the quadrangle. When I do get up the stairs, the first thing I see is the abandoned handbag and the photographs scattered all around it.
Meulaboh, Sekolah Muhammadiyah #4
Originally uploaded by Terz.
For a moment, my legs are leaden.
The photographs are of someone's wedding. Someone's child as a baby. Someone's child in a soldier's costume. Happy family moments.
All the photographs bear signs of water damage.
For the first time in over ten years, I pause to whisper a prayer.
(To be continued)
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Our eyes took in the flattened and burnt-out buildings and the scores of listless people wandering the dusty streets, at a loss for where, perhaps, to begin helping out. Mentally, I was not prepared for what I was seeing.
Meulaboh Town #2
Originally uploaded by Terz.
I recall the pre-arrival briefing by the CMR (Civilian-Military Relations) personnel from the SAF and I think: someone lied. Someone said that the critical phase was over and that rebuilding will begin shortly. Someone didn't say anything about the smell; the heavy feeling in the air; the bright orange body bags that are still being filled when we arrived; the flags fluttering weakly in the breeze, each signifying a body found because of its smell, but, without heavy equipment, would remain buried underneath rubble, rotting; someone didn't see the bloated disfigured husks that used to be human being dragged out from under debris and torn vegetation, almost a month after the tsunamis changed the lives of these people forever.
Before we left the shoreline, we were told by someone from the Indonesian Red Cross (PMI) that further along the coast from where we were, on a peninsula, were mass graves being dug in preparation for the bodies yet to be recovered. The latest one to be filled, had contained up to 5,000 bodies.
Meulaboh Town #3
Originally uploaded by Terz.
Looking at the town around us, we finally begin to understand the scale of what we're facing.
(To be continued)
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A boy rides up the road towards us. I snap a few quick shots of him. He stops, uncertain. I wave at him, reassuring him that the large boxy thing in my hand isn't a weapon. He approaches our group wearily, dead eyes scanning the area. For something familiar, perhaps. He doesn't respond to my smile - just stares out at the sea. From time to time, he glances over at the unloading of pallet after pallet of humanitarian aid from the FCU (Fast Craft, Utility). His face registers neither joy nor relief.
Sham asks after him. He doesn't say much, except to reveal that his entire family had been claimed by the waves. He's alone now. Living off the generosity of the world which may soon forget and move on.
Meulaboh Boy #2
Originally uploaded by Terz.
He rides away after a while. We do not get his name.
(To be continued)
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I left Singapore on 14 January 2005, ostensibly to 'refind my centre' (as my wife puts it). I had been unfocused and listless for a while (since my 33rd birthday, actually). It didn't help when the events of Boxing Day happened. I was lost, helpless and feeling that I should be doing something; to be anywhere but in Singapore. So when I was asked to go on this trip, I said yes.
"My God! The whole place is flat," was my first SMS message to Tym.
I spent that night thinking about what I would find once we were on terra firma.
(To be continued)
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