Addendum

How could I have forgotten this one?

Saturday still:

Woman next to me in the Japanese buffet-type restaurant at Suntec City farted during her meal. Really. Farted. I shit you not.

In the middle of my fourth whole spider crab, there came a sound from just beyond my right elbow: BRRRRRRRARRRRRP.

No wonder that whole table beat a hasty retreat within 5 minutes.