Communion

"Verily I say unto thee, thou shalt come to Ehtee'em that is my link to thee, and have communion. To complete thine purpose and to fulfill the purpose for which my many Ehtee'ems have been placed on this good earth, thou shalt spend more time than is necessary before any one of my prophets, who are the sons of Aibee'em, who shalt dispense advice and cash, in ten-dollar or fifty-dollar denominations only, and only if thou art withdrawing more than twenty dollars at a time, because it is right and pleasing to me."

Ever been in a queue where the people before seem to be taking forever with what they need to do at an ATM? You know, those bank machines that people use to get cash in a pinch, machines whose functions have not changed much in the last ten years, so people who actually pay attention all those years could actually anticipate which buttons to press... those machines?

Me? I'm in and out, 18 seconds.

***

While in line:

1. To the mother, whose four-year old kid is trying to open the door to the bank with an almighty struggle: She is pushing! It's the weight of the door that's not doing it for her. Don't just stand there like an idiot telling your kid to "push", when she's already doing that, help her, and stop holding up the door for the people who are standing waiting to get in and out.

2. To the woman at the ATM next to me: Ma'am, in which non-existent country on this planet do you think is safe to call your "huh-neey" up on the mobile phone and ask him for his PIN number so you can use his ATM card? And why do you think it's also safe to repeat his PIN within earshot of everyone standing in the queue?